parenting

Barefoot or Heels?

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My 2.5 year old daughter sits on the arm of the couch, intently focused on the tv show in front of her. She has an older brother, so she has conceded over the years to watching shows like “Blaze: The Monster Machine,” “Paw Patrol,” and other deemed “boy” shows. So, this morning, I turned on a new show for her. She loves Disney Princesses even though she doesn’t really know anything about them, so I tried out the TV show, “Tangled” (starring the princess, Rapunzel). I loved this movie, and so far I don’t have too much to say on the television show as this is most certainly not a show review. Something just struck me as I watched a portion of this episode and I knew I needed to write about it, cuz when I can’t get a thought out of my head no matter what I do, I know it needs to be written down.

Rapunzel is new to this princess gig. She is all dolled up in a gown and heels and struggling to walk down the aisle of her own coronation. After all, how do women walk in heels?! You can tell she has a spirit that wants to run free and a confidence to run with that spirit. She’d rather be barefoot and jumping mud puddles in the fields or really ANYWHERE except walking down that aisle.

Although I am very thankful for the change in the way girls and princesses are portrayed in these newer cartoons (growing up, I sincerely thought I needed a prince to be happy and I’d prefer there not to be Barbies in my house), I also hope I never give my daughter the impression that being classy and regal is not cool either. Or to be afraid to be the woman who walks in heels with all the class and chooses to wear lipstick every day. (I write more extensively on females empowering females in my post, Insecurity Cripples but Love Builds)

While I can personally relate to being uncomfortable all frilled up, I can also get caught up in that free-sprit, “don’t confine me,” “let me be me,””I’m just fine, thank you” attitude and that isn’t healthy either. After all, it’s super cool to be a take-no-crap, independent, confident woman these days, right?

Raising a boy AND a girl in this gender-sensitive, gender-confusing, gender-emphasizing  world has this momma going crazy at times. It can be insanely fun and intensely overwhelming at the same time. As I continue to learn more about my evolution as a woman even in my 30’s, I’ll just beg for grace to teach Lilia and Logan that it’s ok for a woman to be strong, but it’s also ok to be a little dependent. That it’s ok to be free-spirited, but it’s also ok to be put together. It’s ok to be confident, but it’s also ok to feel weak. It’s fine to be casual and rugged, but it’s more than ok to be feminine.

At the end of the day, whether its jeans/tshirt, heels/dresses, free-sprit, dependent, independent, classy, rugged, whatever we are, we are all unique and loved by our Father.

I guess I’m just trying to say, I just hope in our attempts to empower women we aren’t also pressuring them to be something that they aren’t.

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One half of a Year

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That’s how old my baby girl is today. Something about this little girl puts me in a pile of mush. Maybe it’s a girl thing? But, I could seriously die thinking of how fast 6 months went. The pain of her birth is already a distant memory. It’s already hard to remember those newborn coos. Time flies by with a bundle of laughs, tears, and kisses and hugs. It doesn’t stop for me to barely breathe.img_5947

I’ve never ever been a kid person. In fact, I have always said I would have 2 kids. A boy first and then a girl. Then I could be done. Crazy enough, that’s exactly what God blessed me with. A boy first and then a girl! But motherhood has rocked me in ways I never knew possible. I am experiencing life in ways I never did pre-kids and certainly experiencing love in an extra-special way. There are multiple times I look on my 2 children with so much contentment and love that I could burst, truly. If you are wondering whether you should have children, it is a crazy journey that you won’t regret. The hard moments are many, but the joy is out of this world.

I want to update you all on Lilia. A few observations about her from her short life so far.

  1. She is so very feminine. The way she holds her hands, the way she looks at us, the way she smiles. It is all so sweet. She is gentle and soft and so very girly. I love her femininity. A woman with femininity paired with strength and intelligence is a triple threat!
  2. She is happiest at home. She loves being with her people. She is a little unnerved when we aren’t in her environment and usually crying ensues that we know not how to deal with because she is never like that at home!
  3. The only person that can make her full out LAUGH in the middle of crying is her brother. She absolutely adores him and follows him with her eyes *everywhere.* A frown turns into a smile and a tantrum turns into a laugh every time he speaks to her.img_5808
  4. She hates cuddling. Which is a total bummer for her momma. But, I guess I deserve it considering I am about the least touchy person you will ever meet.
  5. She is more serious than her brother. Logan was always so smiley and giggly (a total Kaser thing). Lilia smiles when she wants to. She is watching and observing and taking in everything around her in detail (a total Hervas thing). Don’t get me wrong, she is very happy and smiley. But it’s on her terms. Logan almost can’t help being smiley and laughing. It’s just how he is wired.

It will be fun to see how these observations pan out.

Thank you, Lord for a small boy who loves his family with his whole heart. Thank you, Lord for a beautiful girl who already shines with strength and loveliness. I am beyond undeserving and will be eternally thankful for the gift of my 2 children.

In one half a year, I will have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. Time, please be kind to us and not go *too* quickly.

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Perspective

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I often get the question now, “So, is the transition to 2 harder or easier than 1?” In some ways, I feel like it’s a funny question. Like, of course taking care of 2 children (one being a child entering the terrible 2s) is more difficult than taking care of 1. When you add a child, no matter how many kids you have, you are adding another human being to take care of and keep alive! However, I am going to try and answer this question. Continue reading →

When your child. . . changes.

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11705308_10152855198341949_849536273481950682_nI’m not sure what I expected before I became a mom. I think you hope your child will be good and kind and gracious but at the end of the day you sort of *expect* that they WILL be. I’m surprised at my own surprise at my son’s sin nature. What did I expect? That I would have this perfect son who tells me he loves me all day long and plays quietly in a corner and eats all of his food without ever complaining? Well no. . . Or did I? Because I seem certainly taken by surprise by the child that wakes up every morning starting the day off with a battle.  Continue reading →

Our Hope

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This morning I am feeling the weight. The weight of the sin that has cursed what was supposed to be perfect and beautiful. We were supposed to be naked and unashamed. We were supposed to be free of worries and anxieties. Free of sickness. Free of pain.

But sin.

It’s breast cancer awareness this month and every morning on the Today Show, another survivor tells her story. And my mind goes there. If you struggle with health anxiety, you know what I mean.  Continue reading →

Miscarriage and the fallen world

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I’m going to be writing a few posts soon about my son turning one. I still have yet to write out his birth story! Oops!

While thinking about what a joy Logan has been in our lives, I can’t help but remember that there was a time we were hurting. And while I believe that it is important to be able to celebrate Logan’s life, I know that there will be some reading my blog posts and mourning the loss of a miscarried baby. I know there will be women with an ache. It is a normal, God-given ache to be a mom. I have been there. I would like to share a journal entry I wrote after I miscarried our first baby. Continue reading →

“I’m looking out for you”

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IMG_2319It’s no secret that a Christian momma starts to see the love of the Father differently once she has a child. We see example after example of God teaching parents more about Himself through children. This has been no exception for me. The love I have for my son is something I could never explain. I could never fathom it before I was a mom. I could never expect my heart to be so. . . full. It’s truly unfathomable to think that God loves me even more. 

This is going to be one of the posts where I tell you that I am struggling. Continue reading →

Grace for each stage

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IMG_1260Let’s not sugar-coat it. Life is hard. Like, I had no idea how many really hard moments there would be. It always seems like life will be a little easier if [insert solution]. . . Or life will be a little easier when [insert next stage of life]. . . 

I have been thinking a lot lately about the stages of life. I was told growing up that I would always anticipate each new milestone in life and that no one “stage” would fully satisfy. You don’t believe that as a kid though, right? I mean getting married seemed like the best thing ever! To find your prince and allow him to take you off into the sunset on a white horse?

(Thank you, Disney.)

I distinctly remember sitting in my room one day, extremely frustrated at how long it seemed to be taking to grow up. I don’t remember how old I was, but I remember thinking Continue reading →

Random thoughts on mothering a BOY

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Ever since I can remember, I always wanted to have a boy first. Growing up, I was always jealous of my friends who had older brothers. I am the oldest in my family and while I enjoyed being the oldest, I wanted a big brother. They seemed like so much fun. So as a teenager I would always tell people, Continue reading →