When your child. . . changes.

11705308_10152855198341949_849536273481950682_nI’m not sure what I expected before I became a mom. I think you hope your child will be good and kind and gracious but at the end of the day you sort of *expect* that they WILL be. I’m surprised at my own surprise at my son’s sin nature. What did I expect? That I would have this perfect son who tells me he loves me all day long and plays quietly in a corner and eats all of his food without ever complaining? Well no. . . Or did I? Because I seem certainly taken by surprise by the child that wakes up every morning starting the day off with a battle. 

Logan has. . . changed. And this post is not about all of the things that have changed with him. I don’t think that is fair to him, even at 21 months. This is the internet after all and he is not old enough to defend himself and will most likely read this someday! But let’s just say, the past month has been difficult.

So, what IS this post about? Well, it is meant to be an encouragement. Before I became a mom it was so easy to pinpoint all of the problems that fellow moms had with difficult children.

“Well, their child wouldn’t do such and such if they would just do *this* as a parent.”

Pah.

Trust me. That mom doesn’t WANT her child to behave the way he/she is behaving. Whether or not they are handling a given situation the way I thought they should handle it, bottom line is there was a hurting, frustrated momma.

I don’t even have a single answer for how to handle a toddler who is entering the terrible 2’s. But, I know what you need, mom. Encouragement.

I was reminded today from a dear, awesome friend and mentor that Logan is not a believer. And how cool it will be to watch him be transformed (Lord willing) as God works in His life. I grew up the little moralist. And while it looks really good on the outside, no one really knew my heart. So, in a way, we can be thankful we KNOW the hearts of our little devils when they are the “high-spirited” type of child.

I have also been convicted to be praying now more than ever. When my sweet little prince is throwing a tantrum and I have NO idea what to do (funny, I used to think I knew exactly what to do), why am I not praying? Why am I not begging God every night to help me know HOW to handle my precious gift? It is time to be on bended knee asking God to give me daily wisdom to handle my son how He would have me handle him. I want my children to live in an environment where the Gospel has the utmost opportunity to penetrate their little lives in a powerful way.

I am weary some days. I am 29 weeks pregnant and was in tears the other day with just not knowing how to handle a situation. But then God gives me days like today. Days of hope where Logan runs to me and hugs me and kisses me and obeys (at least a couple of times). 🙂

I’m glad Logan is spirited. I have long days ahead of me, and he will not make parenting easy on me this first time around, but you know what? There is a lot of good in those tough kids. God, help us cultivate that rough exterior to shine for Him in a bold way someday.

Just a side note: if you have a friend with a child going through a difficult time right now, the best encouragement you can be is to still want to get together and to tell them you are on their side and that you will love their child despite his/her flaws! None of us have it all together after all!

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