Insecurity Cripples but Love Builds

She sat on the couch with her husband at a party. Her eyes scanned the room at all of the beautiful faces laughing. The shapes of the gorgeous girls and their perfectly planned outfits captured her attention. She looked over at her husband’s eyes to see if he was noticing what she was noticing. Suddenly, she felt small and ugly; her usual confidence was drowning in insecurity.

This scenario could have described me to a T several years ago. I spent many years crippled with insecurity, always wondering what my husband was thinking about, looking at, participating in… Always noticing myself feeling jealousy or worthlessness compared to the women I considered more put together, more attractive, and more personable. Continue reading

Help my unbelief

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So, its been a while! Of course, part of the reason for that is because I am chasing my sweet 14 month old all over the place. But, another reason is that I started this blog to help with my anxiety. Honestly, the past couple months, I have been feeling really good. I will always struggle with anxiety, but the intensity of my struggle has gotten better. Also, I was encouraged to never write a blog piece unless I felt compelled to write. Lately, I Continue reading

Our Hope

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This morning I am feeling the weight. The weight of the sin that has cursed what was supposed to be perfect and beautiful. We were supposed to be naked and unashamed. We were supposed to be free of worries and anxieties. Free of sickness. Free of pain.

But sin.

It’s breast cancer awareness this month and every morning on the Today Show, another survivor tells her story. And my mind goes there. If you struggle with health anxiety, you know what I mean.  Continue reading

If Music be the Food of Love. . . PLAY ON.

Need some encouragement for your soul today? Play some music. Music has been such grace to me during difficult times. It has always been a very strong and powerful worship tool for me. Especially in my quiet moments alone. During pregnancy, one of the Getty albums was such a balm to my troubled soul. In fact, I listened to it so much that when Logan was born, to get him quiet, we would play one of the songs on the cd that I listened to so much and he would quiet right down. It was familiar to him. I guess it was a balm to his soul too.

Lately, I have been finding deep joy from an album called

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“I’m looking out for you”

IMG_2319It’s no secret that a Christian momma starts to see the love of the Father differently once she has a child. We see example after example of God teaching parents more about Himself through children. This has been no exception for me. The love I have for my son is something I could never explain. I could never fathom it before I was a mom. I could never expect my heart to be so. . . full. It’s truly unfathomable to think that God loves me even more. 

This is going to be one of the posts where I tell you that I am struggling. Continue reading

Why write?

 

A little over a year ago, I started following a blog that spoke to my heart in immense ways. Ami Atkins lost her husband due to a health issue. I knew her husband Jon from my college days. I admit, I didn’t know him well. I believe we had a speech class together. Ami started posting her blog articles on Jon’s page, and that is how I got to know her. She is wise beyond her years and the grace God has shown her is so evident in her life. She has been faced with

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Grace for each stage

IMG_1260Let’s not sugar-coat it. Life is hard. Like, I had no idea how many really hard moments there would be. It always seems like life will be a little easier if [insert solution]. . . Or life will be a little easier when [insert next stage of life]. . . 

I have been thinking a lot lately about the stages of life. I was told growing up that I would always anticipate each new milestone in life and that no one “stage” would fully satisfy. You don’t believe that as a kid though, right? I mean getting married seemed like the best thing ever! To find your prince and allow him to take you off into the sunset on a white horse?

(Thank you, Disney.)

I distinctly remember sitting in my room one day, extremely frustrated at how long it seemed to be taking to grow up. I don’t remember how old I was, but I remember thinking Continue reading