At ten years old, Grandma (Liz Burg) was back living in Heidelberg with her mother, Anna, and her step-father. (You can read about how she got to this point, here.) Grandma is silent about most of what took place for about 3 years in there. But, from the pain on her face, we know that it was a time she doesn’t like speaking about. She did tell us of an incident in which her step-father picked her up, held her out a 3-story window by the neck and threatened to drop her because she was caught bringing coals to their neighbor. She says it scared her “half to death” and she rarely disobeyed again. Continue reading
My sister sat across from my grandma, video camera propped up, asking question after question. Trying to soak in what ended up being one of my grandma’s last days in her own home, talking with clarity for such a length of time. Breast cancer was swiftly eating her away, but the cancer was not touching her brain, her strength, her resilience. I don’t think anything could ever strip her of those things. As my sister taped her story, my beautiful, strong grandmother spoke these words in her thick German accent,
“He [God] took these broken pieces of my life and made a beautiful mosaic out of it. Not a clean cut, clear diamond. But a mosaic. And I am just. . . grateful.” Continue reading
I’m forcing myself to sit down and write. I feel like I have had nothing to say for the last 6 months, so I haven’t bothered writing. Now, it’s time to just sit down and write. This post is more of an update than anything super profound. The last 6 months have been harder than the first with adding another child to the family. I’m not exactly sure why, but they just have been.
To risk sounding cliche, Continue reading
That’s how old my baby girl is today. Something about this little girl puts me in a pile of mush. Maybe it’s a girl thing? But, I could seriously die thinking of how fast 6 months went. The pain of her birth is already a distant memory. It’s already hard to remember those newborn coos. Time flies by with a bundle of laughs, tears, and kisses and hugs. It doesn’t stop for me to barely breathe.
I’ve never ever been a kid person. In fact, I have always said I would have 2 kids. A boy first and then a girl. Then I could be done. Crazy enough, that’s exactly what God blessed me with. A boy first and then a girl! But motherhood has rocked me in ways I never knew possible. I am experiencing life in ways I never did pre-kids and certainly experiencing love in an extra-special way. There are multiple times I look on my 2 children with so much contentment and love that I could burst, truly. If you are wondering whether you should have children, it is a crazy journey that you won’t regret. The hard moments are many, but the joy is out of this world.
I want to update you all on Lilia. A few observations about her from her short life so far.
- She is so very feminine. The way she holds her hands, the way she looks at us, the way she smiles. It is all so sweet. She is gentle and soft and so very girly. I love her femininity. A woman with femininity paired with strength and intelligence is a triple threat!
- She is happiest at home. She loves being with her people. She is a little unnerved when we aren’t in her environment and usually crying ensues that we know not how to deal with because she is never like that at home!
- The only person that can make her full out LAUGH in the middle of crying is her brother. She absolutely adores him and follows him with her eyes *everywhere.* A frown turns into a smile and a tantrum turns into a laugh every time he speaks to her.
- She hates cuddling. Which is a total bummer for her momma. But, I guess I deserve it considering I am about the least touchy person you will ever meet.
- She is more serious than her brother. Logan was always so smiley and giggly (a total Kaser thing). Lilia smiles when she wants to. She is watching and observing and taking in everything around her in detail (a total Hervas thing). Don’t get me wrong, she is very happy and smiley. But it’s on her terms. Logan almost can’t help being smiley and laughing. It’s just how he is wired.
It will be fun to see how these observations pan out.
Thank you, Lord for a small boy who loves his family with his whole heart. Thank you, Lord for a beautiful girl who already shines with strength and loveliness. I am beyond undeserving and will be eternally thankful for the gift of my 2 children.
In one half a year, I will have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. Time, please be kind to us and not go *too* quickly.
This post has been in the back of my head for quite a while now. Life has been a bit more hectic than usual and finding time to sit down and blog proves to be harder than it used to be. But, tonight, my husband took our son out for a daddy/son night, so it gave me a chance to sit down and do this. Ironically, he is the focus of this post.
I run a Facebook group of about 1600+ moms. We see a lot of different posts. Anything from talking about children’s poops to asking for style advice to crying out for help because we are so sleep deprived that we can barely think. One trend I notice a lot in our group is a need to talk about marriage as well. I see a lot of women crying out to be noticed, to be helped, or to be appreciated. I don’t look at these posts as women bashing their husbands, but more like they are crying out for help. They are hurt and broken. Continue reading
Tired Parent: “Yah, my newborn woke up every 2 hours last night. I am so tired. My toddler is going through the terrible 2s on top of it. Try dealing with an explosive tantrum over not wanting milk, but wanting juice instead (when the kid asked for milk in the first place) while getting 3 hours of sleep the night before. Oh and don’t get me started on trying to go anywhere. It takes 30 min to just get out the door. Seriously, wait as long as you can before having kids. Enjoy your time as a couple, because it’s never the same again when you have children. . . But, they are worth it!”
I have heard this type of monologue many times when I was yet to become a mom. Then, I became a mom and I have spouted out this dialogue many times. It’s funny to me. We go on and on about the tortures of parenting and then tag on an “It’s worth it” on the end. But we don’t talk often about the “It’s so worth it” part. So that’s what this blog post is intended to do!
Nathan and I got married with the thought of having children far into the future. We received a lot of pressure from the start to have children soon, but we were not interested. We always said we would wait about 5 years. Due to various roles in plays that I couldn’t pass up, we pushed that date a little further back. It took us a year to conceive Logan which put us at being married 7 years before we had our first child.
I heard the above dialogue many times! It really scared me to think that our lives would change so dramatically. But everyone said it was worth it, so I held on to that. We were definitely behind all of our other friends who already had 1 or 2 kids by the time we became parents. So, I have compassion for those that are waiting to have children. You may feel pressure. You may wonder if you are doing the right thing by waiting. And you certainly wonder if you can handle it. After all, your friend who is a new parent seems to be a walking zombie!
So, dear friend, here is the “it’s worth it.”
- Being a parent is conceiving another human being from the love that you both share for each other. Half of you and half of your spouse in another human. It is a miracle I will never stop marveling at.
- Being a mom is growing your son or daughter in your womb. One minute, there is nothing in there. The next, a human life is created and begins to form. You nurture and sustain that life with your very own body.
- Being a parent is watching your child go from being completely helpless to independent in just a short time. Watching them learn from you and become their own person is very fulfilling.
- Being a parent is LOTS of sloppy kisses.
- Being a parent is love. So much love. Experiencing it in a whole new capacity. Not knowing that your heart could even contain so much love. It’s almost suffocating.
- Being a parent is middle of the night snuggles. Feeling your child completely and totally melt into your body for comfort. Because YOU are the only person they want and need. YOU are their whole world.
But, mostly, being a parent is seeing God’s love in a whole new way. I watch my toddler throw a tantrum and my eyes fill with tears knowing that that is EXACTLY how *I* look when I fight and struggle against God’s calling in my life. As a parent, I mostly fail at showing grace and love how Christ does in my life. And it is humbling to me to see myself through my child and to know that I am responsible for helping lead them and discipline them to the glory of God.
It is so worth it.
I am an honest blogger. I have always shared my struggles very openly with you all. But sometimes, we need to be reminded of the beautiful result of all of the struggling. My family is the best thing that has ever happened to me. So all of the hard times; they really are worth it.
We may have been rested and free to do whatever we wanted 9 years ago on our honeymoon, but we didn’t have 2 precious faces that looked at us like we were their whole world. We didn’t have 2 human beings that were a direct result of our vows of love to each other. It’s worth it.
So, if you are nervous or scared to start that new journey called parenthood. Don’t worry. You aren’t alone. And I promise. It’s not as bad as we can make it seem sometimes. So, yes, enjoy the sleep and the freedom, but know that God gives the grace when it’s time. You will be ready because He will have called you to start the journey. And it’s worth it.
I often get the question now, “So, is the transition to 2 harder or easier than 1?” In some ways, I feel like it’s a funny question. Like, of course taking care of 2 children (one being a child entering the terrible 2s) is more difficult than taking care of 1. When you add a child, no matter how many kids you have, you are adding another human being to take care of and keep alive! However, I am going to try and answer this question. Continue reading