I’m forcing myself to sit down and write. I feel like I have had nothing to say for the last 6 months, so I haven’t bothered writing. Now, it’s time to just sit down and write. This post is more of an update than anything super profound. The last 6 months have been harder than the first with adding another child to the family. I’m not exactly sure why, but they just have been.
To risk sounding cliche, it is extremely hard to believe that this year has come and gone. I now have a 3 year old and a 1 year old (which is no. joke.). I don’t feel like I am on top of anything as far as mothering and wifing and homemaking goes. I always feel two steps behind. I tell ya, I don’t know how some moms do it!
One thing that has really been helping me get up every morning is really thinking about my time at home as my job. That the work I have to do each day is my “9-5” (haha). Except I’m sort of my own boss with this job, so that’s a plus. And thinking of this job as an eternal investment is very helpful as well.
What really keeps me going lately though is the work I’m doing at my church along with the awesome people I get to do church life with. Our Wednesday night grace groups have been life-giving to me. I seriously can’t wait for Wednesday to roll around because even though the drive is a good 30 minutes, the women I get to talk with that evening breathe joy into my soul! I really can’t encourage anyone reading this enough to get involved at your church and with the people at your church and the programs at your church and so on and so forth! I just really can’t thank God enough that in His goodness he brought us to Grace Bible Church several years ago. God knew how much I would need Grace during this season of my life.
It’s not too much of a surprise to my friends at church that one of the ways I love worshipping is through music. Recently, I was feeling a little down (most likely due to the crazy hormonal affect of weaning). I could feel the Spirit pricking me to turn off the tv and turn my gaze to Him (it was nap time for the kids). I turned on one of my favorite songs right now, “This We Know” by Vertical Church Band. I love the chorus, which reads:
“This we know
We will see the enemy run
This we know
We will see the victory come
We hold on to every promise you ever made
Jesus, you are unfailing!”
I then began reading in Philippians and this verse just really pierced me for some reason.
“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” Philippians 1:6
My life can feel so mundane at times. I can feel foggy and wonder what my purpose is some days. This verse just lifted me from that fog and helped me see clearly. Even in this. Even in this, He is here, and He is working in me. And He is performing a good work in me that he WON’T STOP until my purpose is over and done with.
He was working in that moment, He was working this morning, and He’s working now. And because His Spirit lives in me, He promises not to quit.
And when it’s all said and done someday, we will see the greater purpose unfold. We will see the enemy run. We will see every promise that He made come to pass. And all I can do day in and day out is just trust Him. And know this His will is higher than my own.
There is purpose to all the diapers and the whining (oh the whining) and the sleepless nights and the days that seem to never end. Because He is with me through each moment and not only with me, but working in me.
He gives me purpose.