The Acceptance of Motherhood

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For 7 years, summers were:

sleeping in until 9:00.

making coffee and eating cereal while watching Kelly and Michael.

afternoons spent babysitting a spunky girl by the pool.

reading. reading. and so much reading.

long summer evening walks with my husband, hand in hand, dreaming and laughing.

I was a teacher, so while the school year was intense, summers were blissful. School years were amazing in different ways. I loved what I did, and felt validated doing it. I got to act, direct, and teach. My schedule was packed with helping students, rehearsals, and still time to spend with my husband at home.

Why am I telling you all of this? Continue reading

A Worrier’s Prayer

As you may have seen from previous posts, I do better with schedules and plans. I also have to work to make sure that a ritual or a plan doesn’t become my master, but that it aids in my sanctification rather than tries to control it. For now, I have started a morning prayer that has blessed my heart tremendously. It has helped me in my days of worry or my particular struggles with health anxiety. You have every right to now ask:

What is this magic prayer? Continue reading

What’s in a name?

These days, it can feel like more of a competition than anything when naming your kid. We have all sorts of interesting and different names coming at us from Hollywood. There seems to be a push to be different. There is also a trend right now to look at family names and pick a name based on your genealogy. I love the idea of keeping names in the family. Generation after generation we *are* all family after all, aren’t we? Logan’s middle name is Dean and that is his grandpa’s (Pop’s) name and his daddy’s middle name. I was happy to keep it in the family, especially since Dean is such a good name! 😉 Continue reading

The New Vacation

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We were at the pool today with our sweet, incredibly active 19 month old, and I noticed a lady with a little one a tad younger than Logan. She was chasing the little girl while the little girl kept falling over into the ankle deep water. The woman was right there to catch her every time. I looked at her and said, “Going to the pool is not as relaxing as it used to be!” She laughed and said emphatically, “No, it isn’t!”

This is the new vacation. Nathan and I used to enjoy long, hot days at the pool, quiet dinners at fancy restaurants, leisurely night walks as the sun set over the ocean. Vacation looks a lot different now.

This is our last evening of our first Disney trip with Logan. I’m not going to lie, I was a tad nervous for this trip. I was always one of those people that said I would never take my children to Disney until they were at LEAST 4 years old. My mom approached me about taking a trip to Orlando to visit her mom so that Logan could spend some time with his great-grandma. Eventually, through the process of planning this trip, Disney became inevitable. Ah! What are we thinking?!

I just want to share some thoughts on this new vacation of a life we now live.

It was wonderful.

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Logan’s favorite part of the trip was the open petting zoo at the Animal Kingdom.

My new favorite picture of my buddy and me.  :)

My new favorite picture of my buddy and me. 🙂

Honestly, there were so many moments I quietly thanked the Lord for the beauty of laughter, rest and fun. He is the Giver of so many wonderful gifts, and I was able to turn my gratefulness to Him into small moments of worship throughout the trip. Did everything go according to plan? Absolutely not! Behind each adorable photo I posted on Facebook was a temper tantrum because someone didn’t want to get back into the stroller for the 100th time, or a little boy running the opposite direction in every. single. line. (Child does not like lines.) “Active” is an understatement when describing Logan. In one line, a lady said, “I always thought those parents who put leashes on kids were crazy, but after seeing your little guy, I think I would invest in one.” Hahahahaha!

Watching Logan have so much fun and also enjoying time together as a family made all the hard stuff worth it. I am a scheduler. I like Logan to take his naps and go to bed when he is supposed to. It works for us; it keeps him happy. I am actually a firm believer in schedules being what kids need. But, I knew if a trip like this was going to work, I needed to be a little flexible. One day, we tried napping at the park, while the next we took Logan back to the hotel for a nap and then went back out in the evening. The 2 days we did that, I did feel a little guilty. It was so nice outside and here we were in the hotel! But, you know what? This pregnant momma needed a nap and Logan certainly needed a nap, and we all were much more refreshed for an enjoyable evening out!

Sheer joy. Thank you, Lord for joy.

Sheer joy. Thank you, Lord for joy.

4 generations! And Donald.

4 generations! And Donald.

If you are planning a trip in the future with your young child, just enjoy every minute. Does every day go perfectly and as planned when we are all at home? No. Of course not. So we shouldn’t expect every day to go perfectly on vacation. There will be tantrums, children will be overtired, etc. But, the time we get to spend together as a family without the distractions of home and work or worth it. Try not to be afraid to take a break from the every day to mix things up a little and spend some time as a family. It may go well; it may not. But our children certainly will remember the fun times way over their own times of fussiness or tiredness.

Goodbye Disney! You bet we will be back!

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We loved having Gigi with us!

We loved having Gigi with us!

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18 Months: And the truth behind “it gets easier.”

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As I have been a mom for now 18 months, I feel like I have learned that moms come in many different styles if you will. I watch some moms who seem to be so strong. They have 3 kids running around and are able to hold conversations with me while I am constantly checking on Logan out of the corner of my eye. I don’t think it is a secret to my friends and family and maybe some of you who read this blog that motherhood does not come naturally to me. I had a hard time leaving my job at work, I had a hard time accepting that my new reality consisted of cooking and cleaning 3 meals a day, trying to communicate with someone who can’t speak, wiping lots of poo, Continue reading

Good News (and the fear in my eyes)

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I apologize I have been so silent lately! As most of you know, my husband and I are expecting baby #2 in September! The first trimester sucked all my energy from me and I was in a constant state of “fog.” I really didn’t have any desire to get on here and write. Also, all of those wonderful goals and plans went out the window. Back to raisin brand in the mornings over here! I hope to get back on track soon. I have been pretty nauseous and the nausea is just now going away. Yay!

Our little ones will be exactly Continue reading

Breakfast Challenge Update – and more recipes

I have pretty much kicked the cereal habit! So happy to be away from so much refined sugar in the mornings! I did have cereal maybe twice this month. I allowed myself to cheat once a week. Making my breakfasts has been a lot more time-consuming, so some days, it’s just easier to pour a bowl of cereal! And that’s ok. Continue reading

These are the days

s2014jacphotography-kaser064Anyone who knows me well, knows that I am a huge fan of the television show Parenthood. The show is on its last leg with only 2 episodes left in the series. I always get a little sentimental at the end of a favorite series. I am the same way with the end of a good book. These characters cease to exist and their lives must be tidied up, and I have to hope and trust that the writer or author does the story and the characters justice.

I just finished watching last night’s episode and I was lying in bed awake, knowing I just had to write this post. If you haven’t seen last night’s episode there are some minor spoilers headed your way. Continue reading

Breakfast Challenge

Ok, everyone, it’s time to make some changes in my eating habits. My two main goals are cutting back on sugar and cutting back on processed food. When I sat back and thought about how I was going to accomplish this, I became overwhelmed. SO, I decided to start slow. I am starting with breakfast.

Every morning I have a cup of coffee with quite a bit of flavored creamer. Some might say I have some coffee with my creamer. Ha. I also have a bowl of cereal. So, breakfast really is the perfect place to start Continue reading

Staying In

So, tonight will be our first New Year’s Eve where we don’t either host a party or go to a party. We are. . . staying in. Pretty sure I used to say something about “those” couples who had no life and couldn’t do anything fun anymore once they had kids. So. . . sorry about that! We have put our 15 month old through a lot in the past 2 weeks with a trip to see family and then a few events even when we got back. Sometimes, you have to make a decision for your child and try to return him/her to some state of normalcy and consistency. I understand that. Now. (Ha.)

I am looking forward to an evening with my 2 favorite boys in the whole world. I know I am blessed beyond measure. I am ok with staying in and reflecting on the last year with my favorite people. I mentioned in my post, Waiting For Christmas, that I have always viewed New Year’s Eve as a time of reflection. I would like to do that here by naming some of the highlights of 2014. These are in no particular order.

1. This was our first full year as a family of 3. Watching Logan go from 3 months to 15 months brought me some high highs and low lows! I learned what sleep deprivation really was like, I had a lot of nursing problems, I had to give my worry over to God concerning Logan’s laryngomalacia.

I also watched as Logan’s personality blossomed. He is the world’s best flirt. His smile is infectious. If you are laughing, he HAS to laugh along. He is intense and does everything 100%. Whether it is throwing a tantrum or giving me kisses, he gives it ALL he’s got.

He is a daddy’s boy right now. Their bond is so much fun to watch. Oh, how he loves his daddy. And little one, oh how we love you. 2014 was more special than any other year because YOU filled all of our days with YOU.

2. I turned 30. I really can’t say much about this milestone. It wasn’t that big of a deal. Who knows when the midlife crisis thing will hit, but I’m cool with turning 30. I don’t feel any different. If anything, I feel like I am finally gaining more and more credibility in different areas of life and friendship. I embrace 30. Bring it on.

3. I left my teaching job at a local college. I have been in a classroom either teaching or learning since kindergarten. This fall was the first fall of my life I didn’t enter a classroom. Yes, that was difficult. I am still learning to embrace my new role as stay-at-home mom with 100% joy. God has been growing me and I am thankful for this part of the sanctification process. He is so good to allow me to stay at home with Logan and some day, I want to be back in the classroom. For now, it is not what is best for me. (Oh, I was privileged to direct the LAST vespers every held in Rodeheaver auditorium. Even though doing that with a new 3 month old baby was a suicide mission. . .History made. Ha! And that won’t make a lick of sense to many of you, and that’s really ok.)

4. I started this blog! Though not a popular blog by any stretch of the imagination, I have a few consistent supporters who I am so grateful for! Thank you for taking the time to follow/read my blog. It has been an amazing outlet for me, and I am so glad I took a leap of faith and started it!

I have a lot I want to accomplish in 2015. But I am learning to take each day one at a time.

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Merry christmas and a very happy New Year from my family to yours!

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