A letter to my son

Logan turns one next week. I have known I wanted to write him a letter for his first birthday for a while. Every time I sit down to do it, the words just don’t seem to flow.

My mom made me a box after my first year of life. Growing up, I was told I wasn’t allowed to open it until I was married. It was so special opening up that box with my mom the night before I was married. In it was a letter my mom had written me. You could see tear stains on it from her tears. So precious, right?

So I carry on the tradition.

Dear Logan,

I seriously don’t know where to start! I can’t believe that you turn one in just a few short days. I’m not sure how to even express to you what you have taught me already in your short little life. I guess I will begin by telling you some qualities I love about you.

First, you are determined. Oh are you determined. When you set your mind to something, absolutely nothing gets in your way. You will climb mountains in order to get to my phone. 🙂 This quality results in you getting yourself into trouble sometimes, and I anticipate that it will in the future as well. But, your determination will be a huge part of succeeding someday. It is a wonderful quality, and I pray that you use it for good.

Second, you are full of joy. I don’t go anywhere without someone commenting on your smile. People are smitten with you. And when you smile at a stranger, that stranger smiles right back at you. It is just contagious. You spread joy and happiness everywhere you go. You know how to put me in a better mood by looking at me with those big ‘ole eyes and grinning with your whole face. I pray you never lose that. Sometimes, I catch you giggling in a corner about who knows what. Oh to be full of that much joy!

Third, I can tell you have mommy’s incessant need to think through everything. I am so sorry, child. There is so much going on in that little brain of yours. You wear your thoughts/feelings on your face and I can tell you process everything around you very intensely. That intensity will do you good some day. It might be frustrating at times, but it will help you love fully and serve faithfully.

Logan, this year went by so quickly. And buddy, it was not an easy year. You hated nursing and you hated sleeping until you were about 7 months old. But you know what you loved? Being in my arms.

And I don’t regret for one. second. how much I held you those first few months. I don’t regret holding you for 3 hour naps. I don’t regret leaving you in our room with us for 4 months. Your daddy doesn’t regret rocking you to sleep every single night before bed. Getting up in the middle of the night to feed you and comfort you was overwhelming at times, but sometimes, I secretly wish you would need me in the middle of the night again. Those moments will always be tucked away in my heart as precious memories.

YOU make our lives better and fuller. You have made us a family and taught us a lot about ourselves. Your daddy and I have a lot of work to do, but we are so thankful that we will keep learning with you. God has a special plan for you. He chose us to be your parents and we don’t take that lightly. We want you to know that we are praying for you.

We pray that God will take all of these qualities and help you use them for His glory. To advance His Kingdom. We pray you will know Him and serve Him early on. You were made for something great.

We love you, sweet boy. We are excited to watch you grow. Thank you for coming into our lives and turning our world upside down. Thank you for teaching us what it really means to love with abandon.

We find joy in you.